She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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