Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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