she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
