once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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