Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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