ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
