I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
