Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
