No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Lo siento on account of my penis...
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize