It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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