she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
