is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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