Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
