Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
