This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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