Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We have so much sex to catch up on
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
