I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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