omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
