There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".