you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
How does one acquire holy water?