It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.