dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*