3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
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He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
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We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.