Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.

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  (313) 1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head. http://tfl.nu/u795
  Replies (0) Good night (1801) Bad night (843)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.

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  (815): My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY. http://tfl.nu/imc8
  Replies (14) Good night (828) Bad night (3227)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.

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  (647): Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada. http://tfl.nu/nu9s
  Replies (38) Good night (4162) Bad night (559)
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  (315): View more from New York

  i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love

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  (315): i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love http://tfl.nu/v9ss
  Replies (131) Good night (62643) Bad night (2546)
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  (077): View more from

  it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner

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  (077): it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner http://tfl.nu/m2q7
  Replies (28) Good night (688) Bad night (4246)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".

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  (850): so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time". http://tfl.nu/gojq
  Replies (62) Good night (1256) Bad night (9214)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Darwin at his finest.

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  (571): You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg. (202): Darwin at his finest. http://tfl.nu/rqsd
  Replies (25) Good night (5997) Bad night (1334)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier

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  (612): you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier http://tfl.nu/qh8d
  Replies (10) Good night (4805) Bad night (1293)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.

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  (615): As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge. http://tfl.nu/pca6
  Replies (5) Good night (2494) Bad night (831)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.

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  (954): When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex. http://tfl.nu/36q6
  Replies (4) Good night (1292) Bad night (326)
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  (916): View more from California

  She's not a foreskin expert like you

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  (916): She's not a foreskin expert like you http://tfl.nu/02y6
  Replies (0) Good night (386) Bad night (615)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.

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  (+44): I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed. http://tfl.nu/rr9p
  Replies (2) Good night (881) Bad night (332)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I can give you five reasons its your baby

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.

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  (508): I can give you five reasons its your baby (978): and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl. http://tfl.nu/cjus
  Replies (5) Good night (1363) Bad night (604)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.

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  (317): I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before. http://tfl.nu/0l7m
  Replies (4) Good night (511) Bad night (555)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team

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  (630): I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team http://tfl.nu/5lox
  Replies (3) Good night (458) Bad night (166)

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