dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
