Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
