you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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