I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
