Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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