it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
