Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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