NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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