I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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