and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
