Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
