i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
