Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
