I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
