do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
this hospital has no fireball
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
