You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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