What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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