Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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