Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
