I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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