Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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