this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
