What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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