should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
