We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
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apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
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Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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