I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
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Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
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There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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