Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
