I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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