would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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