My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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