my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
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you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
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That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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