A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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