she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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