I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
