Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
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