He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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