oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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