sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
