I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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